“When you are able to create a lonely place in the middle of your actions and concerns, your successes and failures slowly can lose some of their power over you.” ~ Henri Nouwen, Out of Solitude

Jesus would regularly separate Himself from the crowds, and even from the disciples, to go off to a lonely, quiet place to pray. It was in the place of solitude where Jesus met with His Father in deepest intimacy so that the everyday work of the kingdom could unfold as God desired. Whenever I allow myself to follow His example, I often come away recognizing that my worth to God is not the same as my usefulness to Him. This is crucial to my well-being, for I am better able to see myself through my Father’s eyes rather than allowing myself to strive for acceptance and value based on my ministry activity.

In silence, He cares for my soul in a way that I can be attentive to in the moment. When I am in the midst of everyday activity, I can usually only look back reflectively to notice His involvement in my life. Over the past few years, I have been praying, meditating and actively moving towards God’s transformative activity in my life moment by moment. Stopping to pay attention and pray in the midst of busyness as well as in the quiet, reflective moments have allowed me to practice His presence and welcome His nearness and care in everything…from the most mundane task or thought to the moments when I feel the most pleasure or the most accomplished. He is there – always. He has promised to be. I have started to be keenly aware that God’s life in me can only be reflected by how I live out His kingdom life in the world. The health of this activity is directly related to my life of prayer.

So much of my time is a torrent of frenzied activity and urgency. My expectations of myself far exceed the expectations of God. He simply calls me to live like Jesus. I challenge myself to live out Jesus on steroids – an impossibility that is actually counterproductive and paradoxical. Jesus lived simply in a way that demonstrated the intricate dance between activity and holiness – doing and being. Solitude – being still with God alone…is the way I can be more attentive to His presence in the midst of all of life. Yet, if I never stop long enough to have seasons where I can feel the gaze of God upon me, I can’t make course-corrections or learn how to feel His pleasure with me when I am in stressful or busy situations.

One story in Scripture that punctuates all of this for me is when Jesus healed the man sitting by the Pool of Bethesda. Jesus, we must surmise from His own narrative in Scripture, chose, at the direction of the Father, one person to heal. One. Out of the many who were anxiously, hopefully waiting for healing, Jesus asked one man if he wished to get well…and didn’t use the waters of the pool to do so. Then, with dozens more sick and ailing all around Him, Jesus moved on without healing any others. Why? Because He wasn’t interested in garnering points with the population for His amazing healing powers through healing as many people as He possibly could. His focus was upon glorifying God through obediently healing the one He had been instructed to heal.

The challenge for me…and for all of us, is to seek God, as Jesus often did, in the silent moments of solitude so that we may be able to better hear His voice when He instructs us throughout our day. Perhaps, as Nouwen stated, we will then be able to create those “lonely places” even in the midst of busyness and distractions where our “successes and failures” fade away into the obedient kingdom activity of Jesus.

Here are three spiritual goals to challenge you in your relationship with God:

1. To be more aware of God’s continual nearness no matter what activity you may be engaged in or what time of day it is…and to continually recognize that everything is not dependent upon me, but upon Him!

2. To recognize and internalize that simply to be in His presence, without “doing” anything…is enough.

3. To spend more time in silence and solitude listening to the “still small voice” of God and enjoying His company.

I have a confession.  Sometimes I still get anxious before the Lord.  And when I do, my words to him are a bit like a baby’s cry.  I don’t typically know why I’m anxious or upset, so I can’t always articulate it. It’s just a cry.  It’s always uncomfortable and troubling. The psalmist speaks powerfully of the solution to this in Psalm 131:2-4: “But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore.”

One night a few years ago, our less-than-4-month-old grandson came for a visit while his mommy went on some errands. For most of the visit he was a delightful, smiling, playful little baby.  But then, something happened to change this scenario. None of us knew what exactly was wrong and baby Jack certainly couldn’t tell us. Although he had been fed and changed, he was still angry and upset and he had no way of telling us what the matter was. We hugged him, talked to him, bounced him, sang to him, walked him and did all we could do to calm him down but he was inconsolable until his mommy came home a few minutes later–thankfully! He needed what only she could give him.

I realized how the psalmist pictured me as baby Jack when I am anxious before the Lord.  An unweaned child, still dependent upon his mother’s milk, has no real way of telling you what’s wrong.  Often, there are just tears and/or anger until we receive the peace that only a loving Father can give us. God calls me (and you) to still and quiet ourselves before Him. The example Scripture gives us for dealing with our discomfort or unrest is of a child that is now older–still a child, but now old enough to communicate the problem or issue that is troubling them.

Jack has an older sister, Luci, who is about 3 1/2 years older.  She is like the weaned child of Psalm 131.  Still a child with tears and issues, she can usually communicate what is wrong.  One day she dissolved in a fit of anger. Her mother had talked to her earlier about such things and just watched her.  Suddenly, in the midst of the tears, Luci sobbed, “I’m . . . so . . . out . . . of . . . control!” Her mother calmly replied, “Yes, you are. Would you like to talk about it?”

What a picture of how real God is with us!  He will listen to us even when we cry and can’t explain it. But His desire is for us to “still and quiet” ourselves before Him so that He can begin to clearly deal with the issues in our lives. More and more I find myself coming to the Lord in prayer and simply saying, “Today Lord, I choose to still and quiet myself before you.” And, He is there, waiting to bring comfort and hope into my soul.

(c) Harvest Prayer Ministries

A few years ago, a dear friend went through a major health challenge. She walked through a lot of darkness and difficulty. Yet, in the midst of her struggle, she said to me, “I would not have chosen to miss going through every bit of this struggle because of all God did in and through me.” Knowing how much she had suffered physically, mentally and financially through an intensely dark time, this gift of grace to her was supernaturally significant! We had been praying together (along with many others), that God would receive honor and glory in her victory…and indeed He has! She was able to lead two people to the Lord, including a Jewish woman…and helped another person with a personal struggle of his own. Focusing upon the needs of others had pulled her from her anxiety over her own condition towards the kingdom purpose of God – which was to redeem her situation for His own glory.

I share this to say…prayer isn’t always about the end result…but also about the journey. It is, as the Apostle Paul says, being able to be content in whatever circumstance we find ourselves in (Philippians 4:11). Author, Jonathan Graf, calls this “praying the process.” If we focus on the end result only, we often miss the blessings, lessons, growth that comes from the process of walking through the situation. It is often the process of going through trouble or adversity that strengthens us for kingdom work. As a friend of my says it, “When you can’t see His hand, trust His heart!”

The Apostle Paul said in Romans 5:3-5: “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love” (NLT).

God loves us enough to allow trials in our lives for His purposes. As we “pray the process” we can ask God to work in and through us rather than bemoaning our circumstances. God is a redeemer and will not let anything we walk through be wasted. And, in the midst of our situations, we are always to be thankful: “Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). This is harder than it sounds! How can we be thankful for illness, tragedy, etc.? Go back to Romans 5 – when we run into the tough things of life, God has a purpose to use it for His glory…even if we can’t comprehend, imagine or see it. This is where the true prayer of faith takes place. When we begin to pray through the journey (process) of our situations, God is there, walking with us. He hurts alongside of us, sees and feels our pain, knows our frustrations…none of it is a surprise to Him.

Sometimes we have no idea what or how to pray in the midst of a difficult circumstance. But, Paul gives us this amazing encouragement in Romans 8:26: “And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words” (NLT).

So – in a nutshell, here are some guidelines, based on the Scriptures we just read, to help you pray through the dark, uncertain times in life:

• Pray the process – don’t just ask God for the end result you want…trust God’s heart even when you don’t see Him at work in, through or around you. Know that He is able to overcome and/or redeem whatever you go through.
• Focus on praying for (and with) others who are going through trials as you are. God will use your circumstances to uniquely encourage or strengthen someone else.
• Ask God to give you the spiritual eyes to see His kingdom through your situation.
• Rejoice and give thanks in the midst of trials, knowing that He has a purpose for them that will be for His ultimate glory.
• Pray for greater faith to know that God’s hand is at work to develop endurance, strong character and the hope of salvation within you.
• Ask God to help you to be content in the midst of whatever situation or circumstance you find yourself.
• Ultimately, when you don’t know what else to do or pray, ask the Holy Spirit to share your heart with the Father.

May God bring your prayer life sharply into focus in the midst of trials so that God is glorified as His will for His kingdom is fulfilled in and through you.

I work with many leadership teams, including pastors, prayer ministry teams, missions teams, etc. about hearing from God together for next steps…for decision-making and roadmaps into the future of kingdom work, etc. Of course, without each individual practicing the spiritual discipline of listening prayer first, the corporate exercise of listening cannot be fully realized. Lisa Swanson has defined listening prayer as “the practice of the Presence of God under the guidance of the Holy Spirit.”The Apostle John fully understood the importance of listening prayer. It would follow that the one whom Jesus loved was the one who was most in tune with His divine heartbeat. John listened to the words of Jesus as He described on multiple occasions how He discerned what to teach, say and do from the Father, just as we are to also hear from, and respond to the voice of the Father and the Son through the power of the Holy Spirit:

In John 7:16, Jesus says, “My teaching is not Mine, but His who sent Me.” This was in response to the questions of the Jews, amazed at the profound teachings of Jesus, who had not been formally educated.

In John 5:19 we read: “Therefore Jesus answered and was saying to them, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, unless it is something He sees the Father doing; for whatever the Father does, these things the Son also does in like manner.’” Seeing with the eyes of the Spirit can only be done when one spends time in silence and solitude before God. Jesus and the Father were in continual communication as Jesus moved through His days on earth, carefully representing the perfect will of God.

John also described how we, His people, are to listen so that we will be able to easily identify the voice of Jesus: “The shepherd walks right up to the gate. The gatekeeper opens the gate to him and the sheep recognize his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he gets them all out, he leads them and they follow because they are familiar with his voice. They won’t follow a stranger’s voice but will scatter because they aren’t used to the sound of it” (John 10:3-5). This passage clearly shows how we can easily be led astray or confused if we do not take time to know the voice of our Shepherd.

Based on these Scriptures and others, we can assume that Jesus never acted independently of His Father and that His example should teach us how to relate more fully to God. Listening prayer will keep us in a posture of humility before God which will protect us from acting out of our own selfish desires. It enables us to be willing to lay down our own plans and preferences in favor of God’s kingdom purposes. The difficulty? It takes time to listen. The benefit? There is much fruit that springs from listening prayer. When we are willing to give up our agenda for the sake of His plans, He is pleased to move in and through us to accomplish His work. Most of all, the deepening of our relationship with God happens when prayer is not just words on our part. He is able to transform us when are in a posture of listening, of seeking, of desiring more of Himself and the revelation of His character.

Simple Instructions for Listening:

1. Find a quiet space where you will not be disturbed.
2. If necessary to keep your focus, light a candle to represent the presence of the Holy Spirit, or put a picture of Jesus, the cross, or whatever will represent the One to Whom you are listening. If your thoughts begin to wander use these visuals to keep your attention on the Father.
3. Simply pray as Samuel was instructed to do: “Speak Lord, for Your servant is listening.”
4. Don’t have grand expectations as to what you will hear ahead of time. Come simply to be in His presence, loving and being loved.
5. Keep a journal and a pen handy in case there is something that needs to be recorded.

This process can also be done corporately! However, if each individual does not willingly submit to Christ through listening, unity in decision-making and reaching consensus and/or compromise is much harder to achieve. The spiritual discipline of listening prayer is not an easy one, but it will eventually bear the kind of fruit that will change you, your team(s) and your church in such significant ways that the world will know that God sent His Son for our sakes.